Capricorns are modest and reserved. And as Earth signs, they’re also pretty dependable. So don’t expect any curveballs here. This Capricorn man was also very generous. Each time we’d meet, he’d bring me a small gift. So when I mentioned on date two that my friend, a gentle Virgo, had just had a baby boy, he showed up on date three with a big box from Bloomingdale’s for the little guy. “Oh my god you should marry this man!” my friend said gleefully unwrapping the onesies. Was it me, or was this Capricorn trying too hard?
Picture the scene in Jungle Book when Mowgli is hypnotized and damn near suffocated by Kaa, the cunning boa constrictor, and you’re halfway to comprehending the complex Taurus-Scorpio dynamic. Goodman sums up the ominous nature of this union like this: “The more quickly this horror is disposed of, the better.”
Scorpions are sexy and secretive, the kind of people who lurk on Instagram but rarely post. My Scorpio crush was for sure far too cool to be on social media. He also suffered from batophobia, the fear of being in or close to tall buildings. Instead of picking me up at my office, a medium-sized skyscraper in midtown, we’d meet at a park nearby. It was weird, but I liked him anyway. Plus he’d always come wearing some ridiculously stylish outfit—maybe a powder blue suit and a matching headwrap to keep his dreadlocks in place—then off we’d go for vegan lunch.
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